Fear.

Fear is a powerful controller; he paralyzes, overcomes, and berates.
Fear does not exist in the now. He has to invent a pretend time to inhabit and rule. He takes the only real time, the present, and splits it into two time zones. One half he calls the past, and the other, the future. Fear governs the future as anxiety, and the past as guilt. Therefore Fear must be overcome in the present. So, sure we can avoid our most vicious enemies; but only in the present, when it is right in our face, can we conquer our personal enemies, whether they be weakness or trial. If I think "Oh that time was awful, but next time I'll do better," I am giving Fear the chance to take control. I must ask myself each moment what I want, which emotion I want to let through (lust or love, anger or control), I have to recognize if I am attempting to deny reality. We cannot "try" to be in the present, we are already present. Stop fantasizing you are elsewhere, stop trying to become present; you are already there. Nothing can kidnap you from the present, not even yourself. Discover your target in the present and just BE. That is the strongest you.

Britter OUT.

Some recent pics

Arm broken. Fail.

 My hurt foot :(

 All the many cookbooks I got for Christmas! Yay :)

 My new car and my broken arm!!

 Roommie Christmas tree!!!

 I miss my roommates, they are awesome. Heck I miss having roommates at all.

 I miss Marissa most of all :( My bestie!! <3




Britter OUT.

Happiness in living.

My life is happy when I am acting upon my core values and beliefs and being a “good person” with the interest and well-being of others in mind; when I am living each day productively with an end goal in mind; when I am engaging in physically, mentally, emotionally, artistically, and spiritually challenging activities that cause my understanding to grow. I am happy when I have the opportunity for self-expression and discovery of self and culture; when I am able to spend time with those I love and have opportunities to bring more into that circle of love; when I am learning something new about the world and how I can change it; and above all, when I enjoy the small pleasures in life and don't let the insignificant or unchangeable aspects of the world get me down.

Britter OUT.

Broken

Wow its been a long time since I've posted anything on here. I've been so busy and just not in the mood to write when I'm not! But now I haven't been able to write in my journal because of the breaking of my right wrist.... I guess I will just start with that story...

It’s a dumb story, especially because earlier that day we were tubing and I was like going off jumps and wrestling my brothers and didn’t hurt a thing; so here it goes…

 I was changing the smoke alarm battery and I jumped off the dresser and landed weirdly, falling and landing on my wrist. So I look down and my arm is in an awesome S shape and I just like laughed. Then I realized it’s the middle of the night and I’m in the basement at my dad’s, how am I going to get someone to come in here… So I start yelling and screaming and Laura was like dead asleep so when she finally woke up she thought I had just like seen a spider/mouse and was overreacting so she’s like what the heck Brittany…. So she finally brings Michelle and they open the door and I’m just like laying there in shock. So we finally get out to the car (my dad was crying harder than I was the whole time) and its been snowing like insanely so we have to drive like ten mph the whole way to the hospital. When we finally got there I get out of the car and fall practically breaking my other arm because I didn’t realize till just then that my ankle was killing me too. Anyway, 4 hours, 3 morphine drips, 2 casts, and one disaster later…. I went home. Michelle was such a support the whole time, and I just remember wishing my dad could give me a blessing. But I decided I am a great comedian when I’m in pain. I was crackin jokes and makin friends with the doctors like the whole night, it kept me distracted I guess. I’m okay now it’s just hard to do anything especially because it was my right hand and right leg. Things that require two hands/feet… Driving, shopping, doing up your bra/jeans, doing your hair/makeup, opening bottles/bags, bathing, putting on and taking off clothes/socks/shoes, phlebotomy class, moving to Ohio, cutting up food, wearing a coat/long sleeves, writing, climbing, yoga, hugging, bowling, ice skating, skiing, sledding, Christmas treat baking, opening presents, and the list goes on… 

The first things I'm going to do when I finally heal... Get a job, sign up for a yoga club again, get my climbing equipment, play raquetball and volleyball and laser tag,go bowling (I don't know why), write something awesome, and I don't know, other stuff. I've just learned to appreciate being active. I've missed it and its a great thing to have the ability to do anything with these incredible bodies we've been given.

Britter OUT.

WEEKEND

This weekend was so fun!!!! Let me try to sum it up....

We got everything ready for the party, baking cakes and making playlists and such, then took everything over to the house to get set up. We got cute, then we went to the Institute party to move everyone to our house! We took some sharpies and wrote the address on cute boys' hands all over that place, including the band. So the party that we thought was going to be a FLOP ended up with a lot of people there! There was music and dancing, balloon fairytales, conga lines, cake, and much MUCH more. Then of course one second after midnight the cops showed up because of the noise ordinance... so we kicked pretty much everyone out and the rest of us went up the mountain to a bonfire. Then we became... ADVENTURE HEROES! We crossed the lava and the coyote infested desert, then the evil jaws of the broken tv and the slippery slope of death. We were justly rewarded for our tribulations by the beautiful top of the world. A few more trickled off as we went back home and played the Skittle game, had headstand competitions, and me and the roommies fell asleep watching a dumb movie. Then in the morning we went garage sale-ing!! Yes Grandma and Grandpa, I did do some great bargaining :)

Oh man describing it just doesn't do the night justice!

After garage sales (we got a sweet mattress for super cheap!) and some homework time we went to the relief society meeting--so good! Pres. Monson was in a silly mood and the message was food for the soul :D
On Sunday, church was great too! Sadly, I had to study for a test a lot of the day, but it was testimony meeting which I always love, the lesson was great--of course it was, Stetson taught it ;) haha--then it was our first time conducting as a relief society presidency and it went so smoothly! After church I made some stroganoff, yum, then had eclair cake at Christy's and everyone made fun of me, as usual! Apparently I'm a good target for that. We headed to the fireside and it was a Lamanite guy speaking... it was um... interesting. Then at ward prayer we met these two new awesome guys in our ward, Danny and Batman-I mean Kyle. We invited them, Mike,Connie, and Sarah to our house for games and cake. The cake was gone thanks to Alecia and Helen! But we played Extreme Spoons and Would You Rather. Turns out that me and Danny are soul mates. Who woulda guessed! And we got a new pet named Ralphie, or something...It was a praying mantis.
Suddenly I remembered all that studying I was supposed to be doing, kicked everyone out and got to it for the next two hours, hopefully not to have bombed the test on Monday. Luckily, we learned a lot of Central Nervous system basics back in Psychology. But now I just have to try to forget about boys and a social life and everything to move on to studying for the next test... Anatomy.

Oh college, I love you.

Britter OUT.

Mother Culture

First things first... If you have never read the book Ishmael by Daniel Quinn go on Amazon and order it now or read it at your local public library. It is a book about how our culture blinds us and misleads us into mediocrity. Just be sure to read it with an open mind without letting it trample on your religious beliefs. 

Anyways, so I have been thinking a lot about how we live our lives in a certain way and are around certain kinds of people with certain ideals so that we are conditioned to believe certain things and think a certain way. It is so hard to overcome a pattern of thinking--whether it is correct or unethical or whatever the case may be. So hard in fact that it is rarely done. 

Then there is this little thing called inspiration. It is that feeling you get when you always wanted to be a ballerina and you see that dancer up there on stage; or when an idea is sparked in your mind to create something new and beautiful. Inspiration is a desire to step outside of that box you've lived in all your life. Now after all that good feeling you're pretty sure you can go out and rule the world now right? WRONG. 

It takes ACTION.

Action is one of the biggest obstacles that I have to overcome in my life.Action takes courage, I must not have that courage. Yes, I want to be an extraordinary person, but how do I do that when I am surrounded by people content with their lives, content with what I see as not enough? If you have an answer. please share it with me. 

It is so hard to stay inspired daily. I would love to talk to Ben Franklin or Martin Luther King and see how they did it, how they broke free from that social norm and took hold of opportunity. I have been inspired by some along the way... Kathy Headlee, Christy Blodgett, and Kyle Bateman, just to name a few. And with some of those people it took only minutes for them to climb their way up my list to "Inspiring". They made me want to be better. I desire to have more people like that in my life. People who think outside the box, who take hold of their ideas and turn them into something amazing. 

Wow all of that stemmed from a thought about boys... haha. I got on here thinking I was going to blog about how, well... 

How all my life I have been scared of boys. Call it daddy issues, call it bashfulness, or whatever you want, but bottom line--they scare me. I have never spent much time around guys, never been friends with them, never understood them, never been able to even act normal around them. Most of the guys I've ever dated have been because they liked me so I just went along with it. But the guys I am attracted to and who I admire and would love to be a part of their lives are the ones I have trouble with. They seem like aliens to me; unreachable, incredible, and so intimidating. I don't feel like I'm good enough for them or believe they would recognize my worth. How do I become that kind of person that I would want to befriend or be attracted to?

Oh man its so hard and confusing. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)

Your Dimension of Greatness

No one can know the potential
Of a life that is committed to win.
With courage - the challenge it faces,
To achieve great success in the end!

So, EXPLORE the Dimension of Greatness,
And believe that the world CAN be won;
By a mind that is fully committed,
KNOWING the task can be done!

Your world has no place for the skeptic,
No room for the DOUBTER to stand,
To weaken your firm resolution
That you CAN EXCEL in this land!

We must have VISION TO SEE our potential,
And FAITH TO BELIEVE that we can;
Then COURAGE TO ACT with conviction,
To become what GOD MEANT us to be!

So, possess the strength and the courage,
To conquer WHATEVER you choose;
It's the person WHO NEVER GETS STARTED,
That is destined FOREVER to lose!

Britter OUT.

Side note

I love men with style. 

And men in suits... Yummo.

Britter OUT.